Lemwiches and Lamentations

lemwichesIs it possible to calculate the number of conscious choices a person makes each day starting from the first waking moment….to hit snooze or not? How many choices are made out of habit? Would those really be conscious habits or “sleepwalking through life?” Lemwich is the chosen nickname for this newly created treat. Countless conscious choices were made to get to the finished product, name and all. First, the choice to make lemon curd (recipe at end of post) because I had some recipe-leftover yolks. (That process included many choices-see other post.) Then what to do with the lemon curd. Choice made. Then when/where to get the vanilla wafers, when to make them, how to serve them. Choices made. What to name them (lemon vanwiches, nillawiches, lemon curd cookies). Choice made. And, that’s how the road ended at “Lemwiches.”

It’s the same in life, (IMHO*). The other day, as I was listening to the lamentations of a woman who was smothered by her drama of life, I realized that she had arrived at her present situation by a series of choices. At any given point in the process, what would have happened if she had made a different choice? What if she had stopped to question if there were other options? She talked as if she were a victim of her circumstances, locked in to the inevitable. I’m not so sure I agree with that premise. Yes, victimization is part of being a human. It happens, unfortunately. Victimhood is quite another subject. It is an identity, a chosen identity. People can take everything away from you except your response. ( Viktor Frankl survived being victimized in a concentration camp yet he was no victim.) Indulge me, if you will, as I investigate this subject.

Do you find yourself a “victim of your circumstances” or “backed into a corner without any options?”  Are you lamenting about your life? It doesn’t even have to be big things that are obstacles. I have found myself there at times and am searching for other options.

Here are a few things I am learning to consider:

  • Make a realistic evaluation of your current situation. (You may discover it isn’t as bad as you feel.)
  • Take responsibility for the choices you have made. Own them, don’t blame others.
  • Ask, “Are there another options?” because you do have a choice.
  • Ask, “What is the worst that could happen if you make a different choice?”
  • Choose to grow and learn from challenges and struggles instead of regret them. View them as stepping stones not stumbling blocks.
  • Forgive. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
  • Take control and act instead of react. Shift from being the victim to being a creator.
If I realize I am focused on what I don’t want, it is a red flag that I have adopted a “victimhood identity.” Are you living with  a goal to NOT be or do something? Does this resonate with you? Have you seen yourself as a victim of your circumstances? Is your conversation filled with lamentations? I’d love to hear your thoughts as I ponder this.

Now, enough brain work, here’s the lemon curd recipe, as promised:

1 large lemon
3/4 cup butter or margarine (best with butter)
1 cup sugar
3 eggs
From the lemon, grate 1 Tablespoon peel (aka zesting) and squeeze 3 Tablespoons juice. In double boiler over hot, not boiling, water, or in a heavy 2-quart saucepan over low heat, stir lemon juice, lemon peel, butter or margarine and sugar until butter melts. In small bowl, beat eggs completely. Do not skip this step. Add eggs to butter mixture and cook, stirring constantly, until mixture is very thick and coats the back of a spoon well, about 15 minutes (do not boil or mixture will curdle). Refrigerate.

*In My Humble Opinion

About deairby

From a small Mississippi town and have lived my adult life in the south. I am the wife of Tom Irby since 1974, mother of 8, grandmother of 8, lover of Truth, previous owner of The Baron York Tea Room Cafe and Gift Shop (7 years), cookbook writer, moderator of the Small Business forum on Social Media Examiner, enjoy life and all the adventure God brings my way.
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