One of the areas of growth in which I’ve most recently been challenged is being confident enough in who I am that I don’t care what others think. For too long I’ve tried to please others. I’ve even prided myself in being cordial, mannerly, and non-offensive, serving others and thinking of their needs and happiness.
In a three-hour webinar workshop I recently watched (twice!), I was challenged to not “go with the flow” but stand up for something. If I am NOT offending someone, I’m not standing up strong enough. My message should be so clear and strong that people either love me or hate me. During the teaching and at the end of the session there was an offer to attend a three-day (13 hour days) conference to learn even more about making your message a movement. I could clarify my message. Understand my goals. Discover how I could change my life in preparation for helping others. Define who those others were and how I could help them change their lives. Come up with a workable plan! The cost was comparably reasonable, plus the travel and hotel stay. I could do this. I’d give it to myself for my birthday (which would occur during the event!).
I called to ask a few questions. Of course, she said I was the perfect candidate for their program. (I responded, “I know you are getting paid to say that but thanks anyway!” hahaha) After telling them a little bit more about my life and experiences and what I thought my message was, for sure I could really be helped if I took the time to come. I asked for time to think about it. (always a good rule when making a decision…if they won’t give you time, you have to say no)
I struggled for three days. I really felt a connection with the staff person with whom I spoke. I believed this could certainly help with my developing a plan. As I reviewed the copious notes I took and re-took, I realized that they wanted to teach me how to do things differently, not like everyone else. “Think outside the box” was one point. Hmmmmm, I filtered it all: should I go with all the others signing up to learn to do things differently from all the others? Seemed like an oxymoron to me. Another point was to “feel the fear and do it anyway!” That is, step outside your comfort zone and do what you fear doing to be what you desire to be.
I knew I felt the fear. Was it fear of “missing out” if I didn’t go? Was it fear of wasting money? Was it fear of letting down the person who was sure I was the perfect candidate for the conference? If I faced the fear and did it anyway was the answer to go or not go?
Well, I put on my big girl panties and decided I would not go. I would work with what I had already learned and put that into practice first before moving on to more information. My fear went away, not because I made the safe choice but because I made the right choice. I felt more grown up now.